Unlocking the Hidden Trauma Behind Menopause
Menopause exposed the hidden trauma I spent years ignoring, forcing me to confront the unresolved, unmet, and unchallenged wounds of my past.
It wasn’t an overnight process, but a ten-year journey of discovery, full of twists and turns. I’m still unraveling, but with less frustration and more understanding.
A Journey of Self-Discovery
I recall the early days of perimenopause, when I was in my mid-30s. I was a songwriting student in Brighton, trying to navigate a whirlwind of symptoms that left me feeling like I was losing my mind.
My mind would go blank on stage, and I’d experience panic attacks for no reason. It was a maelstrom of symptoms that even my doctor couldn’t explain.
The Turning Point
It wasn’t until I went on tour with a band at 42 that I hit rock bottom. I was exhausted, and my insomnia had become a constant companion.
In desperation, I sought help from a functional medicine practitioner, who ran some lab tests and revealed that I was experiencing perimenopause.
The Connection Between Trauma and Menopause
As I delved deeper into my research, I stumbled upon a groundbreaking study that linked adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) to severe menopausal symptoms.
Women with higher ACE scores were up to 9.6 times more likely to experience severe menopausal symptoms, even when factors like anxiety and depression were factored in.
Uncovering the Biological Mechanism
Further research revealed that trauma-exposed women’s GABA receptors become altered, disrupting their ability to break down progesterone into allopregnanolone.
This led to increased sensitivity to hormonal fluctuations, making it difficult to receive the soothing effects of progesterone.
Confronting My Own Trauma
As I pieced together the puzzle, I was forced to confront my own history and the enmeshment trauma I had experienced as a child.
I realized that my parents had confided in me as if I were their best friend or therapist, leaving me feeling responsible for their emotional well-being.
A New Understanding
Menopause has been a journey of self-discovery, forcing me to confront the hidden trauma I spent years ignoring.
It’s a journey that has taught me to be kind to myself, to acknowledge my wounds, and to seek help when I need it.
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