In the pantheon of films so spectacularly bad they transcend their flaws to become accidental masterpieces, Champagne and Bullets (also known as GetEven and Road to Revenge) stands as a towering, if wobbly, monument. Much like the revered cinematic train wrecks The Room, Troll 2, or Fateful Findings, this film is an irresistible curiosity, a testament to what happens when boundless ambition collides head-on with limited resources, questionable talent, and a complete absence of self-awareness. The result? Something far greater, and certainly more entertaining, than the sum of its bewildering parts.
The Singular Vision of John De Hart
At the heart of this cinematic enigma is John De Hart, a true auteur of outsider cinema. De Hart not only wrote and directed Champagne and Bullets but also stars as the film’s protagonist, Rick Bode. His creative fingerprints are smeared across every frame, including a truly unforgettable musical interlude. Early in the film, audiences are treated to De Hart’s performance of the bizarre country rocker, “The Shimmy Slide.” Reportedly performing under the influence of painkillers for a back injury, Hart’s stiff, disengaged presence on screen — looking around as if held at gunpoint — somehow manages to be one of the film’s less awkward moments. This sets the tone for the glorious chaos that follows.
A Plot Unraveling at Breakneck Speed
The narrative threads of Champagne and Bullets are as baffling and disjointed as the character interactions in The Room. We are introduced to cops Rick Bode and Huck Finney, who, within the first five minutes, are stripped of their badges. This abrupt career change triggers Finney’s astonishingly rapid mental decline, exacerbated by a messy divorce. His descent is marked by increasingly erratic behavior: firing a handgun through bills, attempting to escape prison by drinking bleach, and seemingly founding a cult. And speaking of cults, a significant portion of the plot inexplicably veers into the occult, with Bode’s former girlfriend, Cindy, resurfacing while fleeing a satanic coven responsible for “sacrificing a human baby.” The film’s ability to pivot from police drama to domestic breakdown to satanic panic without batting an eyelid is truly something to behold.
Action, Nudity, and the Art of the Awkward
Where Action Takes a Backseat to… Other Things
Despite its ostensible genre as an action film, genuine fight sequences in Champagne and Bullets
are sparse and staged with the theatricality of a low-budget theme park stunt show. It becomes clear that De Hart’s true passion lay elsewhere: specifically, in maximizing gratuitous nudity. The film features three uncomfortably protracted sex scenes between Hart’s character and co-star Pamela Bryant (Cindy), each set to songs performed by De Hart himself. These scenes collectively consume a remarkable 12 minutes of the film’s mere 90-minute runtime. One particular jacuzzi scene was reportedly so egregious it led to De Hart’s real-life girlfriend breaking up with him. (A content warning is necessary here: one scene, not involving Hart and Bryant, does depict a sexual assault.)
A Must-See for Bad Movie Aficionados
For connoisseurs of cult classics, fans of “bad movies,” or regular listeners of podcasts like How Did This Get Made?, Champagne and Bullets is not merely a recommendation; it’s an imperative. This film is a wild, unpredictable ride through the mind of a singular filmmaker, delivering unintentional comedy and genuine shock in equal measure. It’s a cinematic experience that must be seen to be believed, and then probably re-watched with friends for maximum bewildered enjoyment. You can find this unforgettable gem streaming on platforms like Hoopla, Amazon Prime, and Tubi.
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