While the recent Musk v. Altman trial concluded its testimony phase with the staggering revelation of Microsoft’s over $100 billion investment in OpenAI, a more subtle, yet equally compelling, narrative unfolded beneath the surface. For those of us enduring nearly three weeks of proceedings from the hard wooden benches, an unexpected observation became the talk of the press row: the ubiquitous presence of high-end butt cushions.
The Plush Perches of Power Players
The right side of US District Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers’ courtroom, reserved for the defense teams of OpenAI and Microsoft, transformed into an unlikely showcase of ergonomic seating solutions. Roughly ten individuals, including OpenAI CEO Sam Altman and General Counsel Che Chang, were seen benefiting from substantial black cushions. Among these, the plush offerings from the brand Purple, retailing at $120, stood out as a particular favorite, providing much-needed respite from hours of unyielding wood. Chang even innovated, employing a cushion for lumbar support—a less common but certainly understandable maneuver.
OpenAI President Greg Brockman and his wife, Anna, were also notable proponents of courtroom comfort, frequently seen with pristine white pillows. These appeared to be from Coop, a sleeping goods brand, selling a two-pack of alternative down-filled throw pillows for a modest $35. A poignant moment unfolded when an OpenAI bodyguard delivered a purple handbag containing a pillow for each Brockman, with Anna swiftly alleviating her husband’s brief, pillow-less discomfort. Spare a thought for OpenAI chief futurist Joshua Achiam, who later inherited Brockman’s seat but not his premium padding, though he eventually secured a more standard black cushion.
A Customary Comfort?
The use of such personal comfort aids in a courtroom isn’t standard practice, according to one seasoned technology lawyer consulted by WIRED. While not “totally out of left field,” he admitted to never witnessing lawyers employ pillows or cushions during his own trials. However, he quickly qualified this by noting, “I’ve never been involved in a trial that has lasted as many days as that one.” Indeed, the grueling duration of this tech titan showdown appears to have redefined courtroom etiquette, at least where posterior well-being is concerned.
Interestingly, the primary litigators in the case occupy what appear to be more luxurious leather chairs. Yet, even these show signs of wear, hinting that their inherent padding might not be as robust as one would assume, perhaps explaining the general push for supplementary support.
The Journalist’s Quest for Relief
Having previously covered the Epic Games v. Apple trial in the same courtroom in 2021, I recalled a less crowded, more spacious environment due to COVID-era capacity limits. This time, however, the courtroom was packed, with nearly 150 people vying for space, including up to 90 on the notoriously uncomfortable bench seats.
My own journey into the world of courtroom cushioning began an hour into the first day. Despite the undeniable discomfort, a sense of journalistic stoicism initially prevented me from bringing my own. None of the other two dozen reporters, including a pregnant colleague, seemed to have succumbed, at least not at first. For six agonizing days, my back and bottom bore the brunt of journalistic dedication, growing sorer with each passing minute.
Last week, after a particularly brutal morning session, I finally caved. My ideal stadium bleacher cushion was nowhere to be found, so I settled for a “cooling” cushion, a relic from the steaming outdoor venues of the Tokyo Olympics. Its debut on Wednesday morning was, regrettably, counterproductive. Too small and too thin, it offered no genuine relief, particularly as I furiously typed notes about the infamous Musk-inspired “jackass trophy”—a relic reportedly once afforded its own pillow.
Four hours in, I abandoned my cooling contraption entirely. Yet, glancing around, I noted a New York Times reporter who had also eventually yielded to the call of comfort, as well as the courtroom artist, whose particularly vibrant cushion remained steadfastly beneath them. As Judge Gonzalez Rogers prepares to hear arguments on potential penalties next week, my personal quest for the perfect courtroom cushion continues. Perhaps a better remedy awaits.
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