Work Is Not Family: A Lesson I Never Wanted but Need to Share

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A traumatic experience at the workplace can have a lasting impact on an individual’s life. The author of this article shares her personal story of being subjected to emotional abuse by her boss, which led to a traumatic response that was triggered by past trauma. This response left her feeling raw, shut down, and checked out from the world.
The author’s experience began when she started working for a company nine months prior. Her boss, who had been love-bombing and manipulating her, started to push her nervous system into a constant state of fight-or-flight. The abuse escalated over time, with the boss constantly interrupting her, sending her personal texts, and making her feel unsafe.
When the author reported the abuse to her CEO, she was met with a response that minimized, judged, and dismissed her. This reaction triggered a trauma response that had been waiting quietly inside of her for decades. The author’s brain couldn’t tell the difference between past and present, and it mobilized to protect her, leaving her feeling raw and shut down.
The author’s experience highlights the importance of understanding trauma and its impact on individuals. Trauma is not just a past event, but a present-day experience that can be triggered by various stimuli. The author’s story also emphasizes the need for employers to take responsibility for creating a safe and supportive work environment.

What I Learned About Trauma

The author’s experience with trauma led her to learn more about the subject. She enrolled in a trauma-informed coaching program and studied her experience through that lens. From a trauma perspective, she learned that the brain constantly scans the environment for safety and danger, a process called neuroception. Her brain perceived danger in countless ways during her employment and alerted her through her nervous system.
Trauma is what happens when your system struggles to cope with overwhelming distress, leaving a wound behind. Those wounds don’t need your permission to exist; they only need a trigger. The author’s experience shows that trauma can be triggered by various stimuli, including past trauma.

What I Learned About Work

The author’s experience also led her to ask bigger questions about work and the employment agreement. She learned that the employment agreement is simple – employees agree to perform the duties on their job description, and employers agree to compensate them for performing those duties. Both parties can end the agreement at any time.
However, the author’s experience highlights the importance of creating a safe and supportive work environment. Employers have a responsibility to protect their employees from emotional abuse and trauma. The author’s story emphasizes the need for employers to take responsibility for creating a work environment that promotes well-being and safety.

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